How To Be An Otaku (PHL ver.)

**Admin TamTam** Thu Oct 11, 2012 7:09 pm

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1. You must watch every single anime regardless of the plot being retarded.

2. Repeat rule #1, but instead of watching it -- set your VCR to record the damn thing, then watch it afterwards.

3. When someone makes fun of your beloved anime, respond by mocking that person in Japanese (ie. muttering "bakero" to yourself)

4. Bookmark Anipike. Anyone who skips this step is not an otaku.

5. Bash anime fans whose core sources are AXN, GMA, and ABS-CBN. Then hold yourself as a true otaku eventhough your sources are just the University Mall and Greenhills.

6. Correct every single person that refers to Rurouni Kenshin as "Samurai X".

7. When playing basketball, emulate the tactics you've learned from watching "Slam Dunk".

8. Buy garments that your favorite anime characters wear.

9. Send a death threat to GMA for their consistent dubbing mistakes.

10. During your Arnis fighting sessions in PE, give your strikes wack code names such as "The Pulsating Stick Of The High Heavens" or "The Dragon's Corkscrew Attack Of Pandemonium Proportions".

11. Post annoying topics comparing your favorite animes with a completely different anime or a show that's not anime at all.

12. Sub-titled anime is better than dubbed anime.

13. Sing anime theme songs while taking a shower.

14. Go to toy stores at department stores or specitalty shops and hobby shops and buy figures, models and toys at a weekly basis

15. Wear either the spray-painted anime design shirts, The ones being sold locally or the bootleg anime design polos at greenhills.

16. A trip once a week either at comic alley or greenhills is a must.

17.Be sure to attend every anime convention to be updated about the latest anime craze.

18.Join anime cosplay and cosplay your favorite anime character.

19.Whenever surfing the net ,always listen to your favorite anime songs that you got from download sites.

20.Always joining arguments about "my favorite anime robot is the best" and showing them your proof to convince everybody.

21.A male character drawn like a lady is always associated with Yaoi.

22. Crying like crazy or attempting to strangle self *hehe* if an episode is missed or something "rare" (figures, cds) isn't found.

23. Attempting or planning to murder a person who says anime sucks as*. nah! not that cruel but a simple i-wanna-slap-u-look is fine. (believe me, i've done that hehe but too bad i hate seein myself in jail. i'll miss MORE grrrr.)

24. Being able to stand up as the fanatic of anime in a group though it sometimes requires a lot (yes folks, lots!) of patience dealing with sorta bakas who simply hate/dislike/don't dig you're stuff and being proud of it.

25. Being able to endure likened to as an alien or wierdo.

26. Memorizing songs of your fave show and singing it like crazy in front of your friendz.. (hehe. *** lang kaya gumawa nun! you're a star! hehe)

27. Buys issues of animerica, newtype, culture crash and questor monthly.

28. Covers the room with anime posters and wallscrolls

29. Uses Baka, Ikuzo, Tensai, etc in their daily conversation

30.Comparing/judging other people as anime characters.

31. Wallpaper in the desktop has an anime theme.

32. goes to hong kong or japan just to buy tons of mangas

33. Study Nihongo so that you can understand what your favorite anime characters are saying in their original Jap voices (kahit pa may subbed or dubbed versions na available!

34. even if a given anime title is not sub titled or dubbed, you must sit for the whole six hours, watch, pretend to understand japanese. then if someone asks you if you actually understood the story, reply with the following rebutal: " i learned some japanese by constantly watching sub titled anime. yes, i can and it was really great."

(yeah RIGHT!)

35. must make thyself noticed with really annoying and weird laughter. you must annoy everyone in the theatre or anime club theatre.

booing really loud and cussing at the villain during the show is required.

36. incorporate your fave anime/rpg characters personality into your own. must add trademark move and quote for a nice touch.

37. if you're caucasian or non-asian for that matter, gawk at every single asian girl your asian friends bring. drooling is not required but it actualyl adds to the loser ambiance you create in the room. also add inappropriate touching and gropping for a nice little otaku touch.

38. if you're caucasian or non-asian, eat like your fave anime character and pretend that you're actually asian to complete the whole illusion of having a life. eat rice in a bowl with chopsticks.

if you actually don't have those cute little rice bowls. you HAVE TO replace it with a big plate. you must pick up and eat every single rice grain with your trusty chopstick. always leave a grain of rice on your shirt to show sign of respect to your fellow otakus.

39. sing-along with the opening song and ending song of the anime when they are played.

40. buy authentic Jap wooden slippers and wear it everyday (even if it kills you)

41. talk about your fave anime/characters/etc...when y'all through with that and suddenly reached dead silence...talk about it all over again (as if y'all are talking bout a new topic)

42. use anime character's names as your code-whatever

43. wear the same clothes over and over again ala dbz

44. dye your hair either pink, blue, green, orange, violet, or whichever hair color you like as long as it perfectly matches your favorite anime character's hair.

45. Master his favorite anime, like it was back of his mind46. A scholar of EVA (the most twisted, interesting and confusing but fun anime of em)47. Before he/she eats his meal, She/he say's "Itakidamasu"48. Instead of sorry, you say gomen!

49. shouting in public the moves like "shoryuken" "shinyuuken" and "hadouken."

50) try really hard to impress people by calling certain fans ani-clueless or to ani-inform your so-called unworthy anime fan just because they love, follow and worship one certain anime.

51) actually fights over an anime character and screeches "he's mine!! HE'S MINE!!" like an obsessive-compulsive person.

52) actually tells boyfriend/girlfriend to dress like a favorite anime character... even tell him/her to lose weight just so to look like an anime character! *and considering most anime chars are underweight...*

53. Bash telenovelas and other television shows the otaku finds inferior, disregarding the fact that each show appeals to different kinds of people.

54. Visit numerous fansites dedicated to a specific anime (usually Rurouni Kenshin) just to memorize episode summaries and hard to find information that he/she may brag to other people.

55. Use manga characters as your online gaming name (ie. Enishi) -- just so when an actual OAV/series is created featuring the said character, you may brag about being the first one to acknowledge that character.

56. Utter annoying anime sounds such as fireballs colliding and explosions and when someone looks at you, mock them in Japanese.

57. (girls) when you accidentally bump into a handsome guy you blush, say "gomen" in a high-pitched girly voice, then scoot off trailing dust clouds

58. someone teases you and your instant reaction is to scratch the back of your head and say "iie..."

59. Genetically engineer yourself to sweat only one big drop by the side of your head whenever something weird happens.

60. Repeat rule #53 while at the same time annoying members by posting dozens and dozens of redundant threads dedicated to bashing telenovelas.

61. From now on, anyone whose anime sources are local channels and AXN would be known as squatters,jologs or poser anime fans. Toothless anime vendors at Greenhills that wears white sandos and Sand Beach slippers are exempted from this label because you buy your animes from them.
62. When engaging in online debates regarding anime -- never give up. If your prepaid card runs out from replying too many times, beg for mercy at the "Technology Today" forum for some random ISP representative to give you free internet access for a limited time.

63. Repeat #62 but when replying, try to make your arguments powerful and in-your-face by posting pictures taken from another forum which has a similar debate.

64) Always make that big droopy Anime eye impression when begging to your parents for "money" inorder to buy your Anime and all related products to it.

65) Always play games with Anime related, atmosphere and influence or the Anime games themselves.

66) Waste the entire day looking for the right Anime or anything related to buy all over Manila.

67) Never think idle of classic Anime's

68) check no# 69*

69) Hentai is good not bad

64) Never mock classic Anime's

65) Play games that are related or is influenced by Anime

66) Do the Anime big droopy eye technique when begging for your "allowance" raise or for advance.

67) Always do the classic Anime "Feel the G-force action" when riding a plane that is taking-off.

68) See 69

69) Always consider Hentai's as an Anime genre.

70) when trading at your weekly anime convention see rule 71.

71) the stinkier you are the larger you're anime collection is. see rule 72 for further explanation.

72) don't take bath, showers or even brush your teeth. it attracts potential trading partners.
73) disregard rule 72 each time square releases a new FF title.

74) After succesfully getting your allowance with the Anime droopy eye technique you waste it all buying Anime and Anime related stuffs
75) Turn your brain into a muss-potato by watching your Anime very close to the TV.
76). Call your boyfriend, Kenshin My love
77). Call your girlfriend, Ayanami-honey
78). Name your first-born son, Son Gohan

79) Your cellphone has its logo, ringtones, group logos, etc. customized to anime characters, theme songs, etc.
80) You know by heart all the sword techniques/fighting styles and the individual moves of all RKcharacters.

81) ask your girlfriend to go along with you when you call out her name, she should shout out yours, repeat process 5 times

82) get a nosebleed when you accidentally catch a glimpse of a girl's underwear

83) suddenly realize that you understand the characters even without reading the subs

84) try to perform a special technique and expect it to work... (kachu-tenshin-amaguriken, hiryuu-shouten-ha, do-ryu-sen, kame-hame-ha and etc...)
85) have your girlfriend hit you with a wooden mallet everytime you insult her and call her kawaiikunee afterwards.

89) after threatening GMA, try and build your self a mech so you can turn the living day lights out of their bad translation and THE WORSE DUBBERS THIS SIDE OF THE PLANET HAVE EVER HEARD!!!

[GMA = bad dubbing = possible down fall of anime]GMA MUST PAY FOR THIER NEGLECT!!!

90) force TV stations with good dubbers/dubbing to show more animes.

86) on your way to school, walk on fences and when someone asks why, answer "balance practice"
87) when splashed with cold water, check if you changed genders.
88) when lost, scream "where the heck am I now???"

91) when your car won't start, call the "bridge crew" (wheeler's club) and tell them that you have 0% synchronization.

92) when the mechanics ask why it won't start, tell them that someone forgot to put the LCL in and that your plugsuit is at the cleaners

93) wear two triangular clips in your hair and call them neural interfaces

94) at the arcades, play a shooting game and everytime you line-up a target mumble "target center... pull the switch..."

95) when confronted with a bad sitation mumble "i mustn't run away", shout "Gott in himmel" or launch into a philosophical exposition on man's individuality due to how other people perceive others and themselves... (i swear... evangelion has got to be the weirdest, most confusing and mind-warping anime ever invented... ya gotta love it! )

for my top 3 favorite anime!!!

(for those who are desperately finding love)

96) Always call for delivery during lunch and/or dinner. Who know? you might just get lucky!

97) Try to mix "weird" stuff and claim you're trying to make a "Love potion".

(for single, never-had-a-relationship-in-his-whole-life male)

98) Find a relative who has an all girls dormitory. Pray that s/he will leave the dorm under your care.

99) No matter how many times you failed the entrance exam to your dream college/universtiy, never give up and think that the "promised girl" is there waiting for you.

(for gamblers)

100) play your "cards" straight.

101) when you lose a card or you think someone is cheating, get you staff (for girls) or sword (for boys) and try to "capture" the card.

And with that, we have now completed the (with echo) 101 Rules Of Being An Otaku